"Due to unforseen circumstances, the Ukraine government has surrendered to Russia. Once thought to be fantasy Nazis are tying politicians to poles and spray-painting them green. Zelensky is MIA but the The Mirror's front page shows a picture of him in a bikini in Panama-
-WE INTERRUPT OUR BROADCAST WITH BREAKING NEWS.
A new season of 'Friends' has been announced. Trevor Noah will be taking the role as the new Chandler, and there's rumours of an interracial kiss plot. Fans are excited!
- WE RETURN TO OUR REGULAR BROADCAST where Ukrainian stores that advertised Christmas as taking place on December 25 are burning. So far, five Santas have been assassinated, and a busload of visiting American evangelicals are missing, presumed dead or suffering conversion therapy..."
I remember this case….. i imagine this must be one of those “have a copy of bambi ready” documentaries…..
I'm nominating you to deliver the news to the USA that they've lost Ukraine.
Ha. I’m game!
Like they give a flying fuck. That’d be like saying
“Sorry folks, we’ve actually just sold our last blueberry pancakes. How about raspberry instead….?”
"Due to unforseen circumstances, the Ukraine government has surrendered to Russia. Once thought to be fantasy Nazis are tying politicians to poles and spray-painting them green. Zelensky is MIA but the The Mirror's front page shows a picture of him in a bikini in Panama-
-WE INTERRUPT OUR BROADCAST WITH BREAKING NEWS.
A new season of 'Friends' has been announced. Trevor Noah will be taking the role as the new Chandler, and there's rumours of an interracial kiss plot. Fans are excited!
- WE RETURN TO OUR REGULAR BROADCAST where Ukrainian stores that advertised Christmas as taking place on December 25 are burning. So far, five Santas have been assassinated, and a busload of visiting American evangelicals are missing, presumed dead or suffering conversion therapy..."
I think I should add that to Notes where 2 people may read it.
Yeah, it’s killing me if that’s any conciliation. Particularly the Zelensky line…..
The death of my subscribers is my only goal for being on substack :)